When Do We Dialogue?

In our September 2023 Newsletter, we shared a few ways to find time in the midst of daily life to have a dialogue with your beloved, including setting up a weekly date night for dialogue, dialoguing while walking the dog (and using the leash as the ‘talking stick’), and chatting while relaxing in the hot tub. 

Additional ideas that you shared in response include: 

• Talking in the car on long trips is often a rich time for dialoguing (although we don’t have a lot of eye contact!)

• We have a phrase we use, “I like us to use our skills, which is shorthand for us to enter into the dialogue process. When one of us makes this request, the other one agrees to find a time and place. 

• "Would you listen to me now, dearest?" reminds us to dialogue....

• We have a scheduled dialogue night every Tuesday. Because it is on the calendar we schedule around it. We have done our Tuesday night dialogue on walks, while traveling, or even at the dinner table. And sometimes we decide not to dialogue. That’s ok too.

• We have a phrase we use "I like us to use our skills" which is shorthand for us to enter into the dialogue process. When one of us makes this request the other one agrees to find a time and place.

• Putting the online drop-in dialogue dates on our calendar

• After one or the other of us returns from business travel.

• Occasionally we use the full dialogue model, but mostly we use shorthand for bits of the model at appropriate times.

• We say to each other, "Can we dialogue now?" Sometimes while taking a hike, never while driving on a trip. If we can't dialogue right away, we set a date for another opportunity and make sure we show up for that.

• Sometimes in the evening we have a "checking in" dialogue, often about something that has happened or is about to happen, just to hear each other's feelings on the matter. We sit on our living room couch. It's a time when there is little else competing for our attention, and we can focus on each other.

• Occasionally we slip into a dialogue on a long drive, although this is not something to do if the topic is a tender one and feelings are strong.

Check in with your partner and see what creative ideas you can come up with for chances to dialogue!