Reflections on our 2026
FCE Leader Couple Gathering

Attendees: 

Lorene Ludy, Jean Eden, Mark Wutka, Mary LInda McKinney, Scott Bell, Cathy Walling, Signy Fridriksson, Steve Fick, Jeff Richman, Dave Minden, Pamela Minden, Kathy Richman, Joan Liversidge, Rich Liversidge, Kirsten Brink, Andrew Dembski, Sharon Baring, Tom Baring, Carol Holmgren, Rick Holmgren, Deb Humphries, John Humphries, Franklin Davenport, Stephanie Wilson, Steph Bean, Dave Diller, Mike Green, Marsha Green, Jess Walcott, Gene Sonn

The gathering, and reflections:

FCE leader couples met for our annual gathering at the University of New Mexico Sevilleta Field Station, and online, making this a “hybrid” retreat, March 13-16, 2026. We celebrated our companionship, extended dialogues, training, games, worship, and the following reflection on the annual gathering itself and the state of FCE. 

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FCE is not just alive and well, but thriving, vital, and adaptive. Leader couples spanning perhaps three generations of FCE enrich us with their particular perspectives, experiences, gifts and passions.

We are awestruck by the solidity of our circle and the number of people who gathered online and in Sevilleta.

Reflecting on how far FCE has come, we are now in our 10th year as a 501c3 organization, and have recently been updating our MOU with FGC. The original MOU exposes our concern that, in 2015, we considered simple visibility a potentially major challenge. With the Quakerspeak video, significant effort on our website, newsletter, mailing list, and advertisements, and regular, periodic drop-in dialogues, and online tasters, we feel we have successfully addressed this concern.

Also, with significant effort, we have created a self-paced Google Classroom-based training and mentorship program for supporting new couples-in-training.  This is another evolutionary step in our organization.

One leader couple described our journey to this point by reflecting on their own experience. They joined FCE in the 1980s, learning from David and Vera Mace, the original creators of our CE process. They described themselves as a second generation LC, observed that we're now welcoming a fourth generation of LCs, and are now larger and better organized. They expressed optimism and gratitude for all efforts to build and support our work and to create this space where love is made visible. We celebrate the fact that LCs, spanning generations in every sense of the word, are energized today to work together in FCE.

First and second generation LCs are grateful to and encouraged by our younger members as they seek to develop new formats to address the needs of younger participants. We need our CITs and "fourth generation" LCs, as some of us are finding the world “out there” increasingly strange.

In the world today, we perceive tremendous longing to find new, positive, and enriching ways of being with each other. We, ourselves, long to bring inspired acts into the larger dialogue and dynamic. We see the need, believe we have something to offer, and want to understand the disconnect which prevents people from attending workshops.

We draw a comparison to this experience with the variety of ways in which people access and listen to music these days, from live performances and vinyl to ear-buds and surround sound. It's not what we're listening to, but how. There's excitement as FCE tries new models for structuring retreats and workshops, without leaving others behind. Some ideas that were mentioned: single-session online retreats designed to prepare participants to join the monthly drop-in dialogues where they would then, over time, experience the FCE community; greater participation with other organizations; and promoting ourselves as possible guests at the annual gatherings of Quaker Yearly Meetings across the country.

Another area of growth for FCE was brought by our outside trainer who introduced us to the realities of intimate partner abuse. This was exposure to a difficult topic, and reminded us of our training on polyamory at the 2023 annual gathering. We will remember this information, and process it over time, as we seek clarity as LCs and as the FCE body on ways within our abilities and responsibility, to support couples experiencing it.

We remain clear that, as we experiment with new formats and digest new information, we must do so without losing our core values and identity.

Above all, from this gathering, we will remember rejuvenation. Rejuvenation by New Mexico's landscapes, flora, fauna, and starry nights, by the strength of the gathering, by our shared energy to lead retreats, as we seek ways to widen our audience and to support each other in this ministry.

We trust that the gifts and time needed to help us make the next transformation will arise, and are optimistic because FCE has a tradition of embracing change.  We are excited to see what we can build together.